Financial reports must be untouched by human hands

People handling billing or financial data are usually very uptight. Especially when it comes to numbers. If you thought mathematicians, statisticians or economists were protective of their numerical figures, go talk to someone who works in the financial department.

PI is an elegant number. It goes to about 3.14159265, and describes the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. It doesn’t mean much to a finance person though.

But the bits have mercy if their report shows that there’s a $3.14 missing.

Sometimes, in the course of my work, I get requests to dump data from the database. Well, more like generating ad-hoc reports based on whatever was needed. Excel seems to be the preferred output format, since it displays all the data in nice little columns and rows. And let’s face it, the user is probably more skilled in Excel macros and functions than you and I are. Let them do their little calculations and predictions and pie charts, I say.

But noooo… Finance people will have none of that.

“I cannot manipulate data.” was the usual answer.

Wait, when I churned out those data, wasn’t I manipulating data, of sorts? I was doing SUMs, GROUP BYs and ORDER BYs with the database queries. If the user wanted a sum over that particular column, and I didn’t provide it, just use the inbuilt Excel sum function.

“Oh no, I cannot manipulate data.”

Apparently, whatever financial reports must be completely generated by the computer. All financial reports must be untouched by human hands. Let’s hope you got that algorithm right. Wait, aren’t you human? Would that mean the reports went through human hands?