Jumping fish, lazing cat, right-handed piano keyboard playing and more than 2000 lines of source code written.

You can try to guess what’s the music piece I’m practising on. I’m almost ready… and I’ll have a recording up then.

It rained suddenly just when I wanted to capture some outdoor footage. I might as well make use of the wet weather…

Also, I dug up my 10 (?) year old keyboard!

I was clearing a part of a cupboard so my brother could store his collection of Agatha Christie books. I thought I might as well let you see what kind of junk I had… Among the contents were my university prospectus, game cartridges (from Sega and Super Famicon), comic book sword collectibles and tons of game guides and manuals.

I played the piano part on my iPhone using the Virtuoso app.

Wait, how does it know I’m looking for lov… uh, I mean, hmmm… that’s an interesting advertisement.

I’m just recalling something that happened when I was in junior college…

Hey, I’m getting better at video editing.

And have a happy Valentine’s Day!

So after thinking it through, I have to increase the price of my programming guide (Spreadsheet Open XML From Scratch). As ironic as it sounds, it might be the best thing I need to do. Simply put, my product is not expensive enough.

You will do well if you read some psychological books on human purchasing behaviour. It turns out, as studies show, there is a “perfect” price for every product (or service) for the intended audience (or market if you prefer) at a particular time period. Veer too far from that perfect price, either too cheap or too expensive, and you might need Herculean powers of persuasion to get the customer to buy.

And here I thought I was pricing my guide too expensive… I want to thank the people who’ve already bought my guide. You’re awesome.

So here’s the thing. I’m increasing the price of the guide from US$ 47 to US$ 97 (but please check the product page for current price since I might have changed it. Again…). And I’m doing it on 1 March. Why am I not doing it earlier? So you can buy the guide at the current price if you so choose. And because I’m busy writing my magazine and updates to the guide.

There are updates to the guide? Yes. And if you have anything you want to learn about creating spreadsheets from C# (or VB.NET) and with the Open XML SDK, now’s the time to tell me.

Then buy the guide at its current price, and get the updated version (soon). You get full working source code (not a code library, source code) that you can use with complete freedom (no license fees, no GPL’s, no license requirements, no need for attribution). Use the source code in a personal project or commercial product. No problem. And you get in-depth explanations of concepts taught for a particular task.

Buy it now before the price goes up. Leave comments here if you have specific Excel creation/editing tasks you want me to cover in the updated guide.

Contestant #1

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Contestant #2

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Contestant #3

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Contestant #4

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How to vote

You can:

• Email me
• Vote on Twitter using the hashtag #epiccuterabbits
• Comment below

Results will be tabulated and released in the March 2011 issue of Singularity. I’ll also write a short post here to announce the results. No personally identifiable data will be released. If you’re really shy, you can comment anonymously (for this post, I’ll accept non-obviously-spammy-looking comments that are legitimate “vote” comments)

I don’t have any cool prizes to give away (do I hear future sponsorship?), but aren’t those rabbits cute? Do it for the rabbits.

Since I can’t make that deadline, launching during the holiday season will be ill-advised. So the date is moved to sometime in January next year (or month if you prefer). I am truly sorry that this happened.

Now one of those big Internet marketers would probably salvage this by continuing on with a pre-sale, maybe give you bonus material, or discount, or some exclusive information. I thought and searched real hard, and I don’t have anything that won’t sound lame. So I can only offer you my deepest apologies.

That said, I can tell you a story.

How my computer decided to sabotage me

My previous computer was 5 years old, which is ancient by Internet standards. So I decided to buy a Dell i7 processor computer. I was still working in a job and could afford the S$3000+ computer. It had blazing fast processors and a good graphics card (demos are graphics intensive programs). That was in November 2009.

Come this June 2010, my i7 started spluttering. It hung while I was playing a music visualisation I think. Since then, it will hang within minutes of power start up. I needed to wait for half an hour before repowering it up again to log in.

I know I should have call Dell support and get a technician to look at it. But I was afraid I’d lose a few days getting the computer fixed. I know it’s ridiculous and I’m an idiot. I wasn’t really thinking straight. I was self-employed by then, and was a bit concerned about money and cashflow. And not eating sufficiently can mess with your thinking. So I’ve been told.

Before telling you what I did next, let’s go back a few weeks…

6 feet under

Near the end of last month, my uncle died. I had just gotten a new surge of energy and direction. You know, the Excel Open XML ebook product. I was excited that I’ve found something I can offer to you. So I worked hard. Then I got the news.

During that unfortunate event, I also had to finish my magazine. It was terrible timing, but I got through it.

Amidst her grief, my grandmother still managed to ask me something. Did I have a girlfriend? I said no. “AH BUAY PAKTOH?!?!” That’s the Chinese dialect, Hokkien for “Not dating yet?!?!” What can I say, we Chinese are pragmatic people…

Yeah, I’m telling you now what I’ve been sorta shy to talk about. I like Caucasian women. I’ve been asked what’s wrong with Singaporean women or Asian women before. Nothing! I just prefer Caucasians. My friend suggested that Nordic women’s (Sweden, Finland, Denmark and Scandinavia in general) temperament might be compatible to mine. So if you’ve been following my Twitter or Facebook accounts, that’s where the Swedish references came from.

The point of breaking

Many people around me don’t really understand why I chose to be self-employed. Family and friends, the very people I need the most support from. I’m not kidding myself. I’m not doing so hot right now. So I’m looking for a Caucasian wife and freedom by having some kind of online business. If I wanna date, I need money. And getting an online business isn’t conducive to that, isn’t it?

I don’t know how to answer that. All I know is that I’ve walked the path of being under someone’s payroll, not really being free (time- and choice-wise), and I know how that’s gonna end for me.

So I chose being an entrepreneur slash self-employed slash online business owner. I gave up a lot of stuff. Movies, public transport (I walk a lot), new clothes, meeting with friends (because the transport cost of meeting them can buy me a meal), food. I can honestly tell how sucky it is to not have food to eat. I eat 4 slices of bread with peanut butter for dinner. I considered expanding that to breakfast and lunch, but I thought malnutrition might do me in faster than my shrinking bank account. A bit of advice; do not take your food for granted.

Holiday month

So I managed to finish the December issue of Singularity and got ready for the January issue. I’ve got exciting news for you. I managed to have the authors of Snarkmarket as interviewees. So if Robin Sloan, Timothy Carmody or Matt Thompson is reading this, it’s why I’m taking a while if I haven’t replied to your emails.

Multitasking the preparation of next month’s magazine issue, I went back to work on the Open XML ebook. I had just finished all the code portions and was going to work on the ebook proper when the i7 finally didn’t like the workaround and died on me. When I start it up, it just gives a sighing whirl and dies. After a fee seconds, it whirls back to life for a brief second and dies. It was excruciatingly painful to watch, like a human struggling to hold on to his last breath. And that analogy was exceedingly close to my financial situation. Very painful to think about.

Decision averted

When the i7 died, I panicked. I’ve been struggling for over 8 months now, depending entirely on my computer. I gave up many things, a comfortable but intellectually and creatively stifling job amongst them. I started swearing a lot, if only to myself. I starved. I meditated more often, mostly so I could face the uncertain future with faith. A relative passed away. My biological clock was also ticking. Then my computer died. If I weren’t in control of my fate, I think someone has a weird sense of humour…

I don’t know why I’m doing what I’m doing. If you ask an entrepreneur, he probably can’t tell you either. These past few weeks were just very trying…

A secure job

I was sort of offered a job. My stomach prompted my guts to at least consider it. It was a job in the military/government sector. I was practically a perfect fit for it, what with my maths and computational science background.

Then I considered the consequences. I couldn’t use an iPhone. Not really a deal breaker, but you won’t be reading this post if I didn’t have some recent version of mobile phones.

I might not be allowed to have a side business. My blog and magazine could be the property of the government or military, and not mine. You might wanna check your contract terms that youre not “work for hire”.

And in the hopeful and possibly small chance that I manage to find a Caucasian woman who loves me, there will be security checks. You know, for national security.

I said no. It was very painful for my stomach and bank account to accept it. I will find another way, somehow.

Be grateful

I don’t know about you, but I can bet I have a lousier holiday season than you. But I’m not a betting person, and besides, I can’t really afford to lose. I had to throw away a bunch of bananas my mother bought me. And it pained me a little, because I lost food that could last maybe a couple of meals more. But there was mould on it, and it looked like a giant tarantula, so I chucked it into the garbage chute.

So be grateful for what you have. I am facing what appears to be insurmountable odds. Only 1 in 5 (10?) businesses succeed. Online businesses might have different (better?) odds. A Chinese dude looking for a Caucasian girlfriend/wife, especially since he’s not “financially stable” (a friend kept repeating that)

Well in my panicked haste, I went to buy a cheap computer. Then I swallowed my pride and checked the warranty status of my i7. Still in luck. I cancelled my order, and I’m now in the process of waiting for the technician to arrive. I hope I can get it fixed.

So I hope you have a better time than me.

And happy holidays ahead.

A couple of days later, I walked by the same spot. The chair was moved.

Was someone waiting by the road? And who moved the chair?

Actually I forgot the actual date. I thought it was today, but it turned out to be yesterday. Oops. Sorry, blog.

So yesterday, 12 June 2010, Polymath Programmer turned 3 years old. *trumpets flare, streamers float and white doves fly into the air* Originally, I wanted to keep it quiet. No fuss, no muss. Just continue writing stuff you’d find interesting. Then I remembered that June 2010 was special to me personally.

Hence, in a whirlwind of idea creation, I want to thank you for reading Polymath Programmer. If you are one of the first 3 people to email me (or if you prefer the contact form) with the subject header “Polymer Birthday” (within this month, you know, because it doesn’t make sense next month…), you will get:

• A postcard sent to you from Singapore, with a personal message from me.
• The next 3 issues of Singularity for free. I’ll even give you the current June 2010 issue as a bonus.
• The Secret History of Polymath Programmer.

[UPDATE: 2 people have "won". Only 1 left. Start emailing...]
[UPDATE: All prizes taken. I thank the 3 people who emailed me.]

I will obviously require that you provide your physical address for the postcard to work. I promise it will be kept confidential, and will only be used to send the postcard to you. But if you’re not comfortable, I can scan the postcard with the message and send you the image. Either way, you’re getting a postcard.

As for the secret history thing, I will tell you things that few people ever know about Polymath Programmer and me. I’ll tell you why June 2010 is special. You’d probably laugh. You might sympathise with me. Hey, if nothing else, you’ll feel good. Everyone loves secrets.

And if you’re looking to advertise in Singularity, you’re in luck. If you contact me within this month, you get a heavily discounted rate. (click here for more details)

That’s it. Enjoy the rest of June. It might even be summer for you. I can completely relate to you, being in ever-summer-Singapore.

[image by Rich Legg]