I take psychic submissions too

I don’t know how to put this. Things have been a little … quiet around here. So I’ve decided to put my analytical and intuitive skills to the test, and hopefully gain some answers…

So, over the past one year or so of blogging, I collected what little information I had. Some emails, some comments, some Stumbles, and a delicious bookmark or Reddit or so.

You are probably from the United States. In fact, you are 41.54% likely to be from the United States (courtesy of Google Analytics). Or you’re 9.35% likely to hail from Harry Potter’s country (urgh… Dementors). Ok fine, I don’t really know anything. You could be from, let me see, Canada, India, Singapore (helllooo!), Australia or some other fine place on Earth.

And now, I’m going to reveal an embarrassing fact. My blog traffic is about 50 unique visitors per day, spiking up once in a while when a post gets Stumbled or Reddit. Page views are about 1900 to 2100 per month. Rest assured you’re more than a web site statistic. I love talking to you (even if you’re a bit shy talking back sometimes…). R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Despite the low number of web visitors, I have about 35 RSS readers (thank you mem!) and a PageRank of 4. I’m not sure exactly what Google’s algorithm does, but I think 4 is a good value.

Now, the page views thing wouldn’t have been a big deal, until I read Daniel Scocco’s answer to a reader question

6000 page views per month means you are getting around 200 page views daily, right? Well, I think that is a pretty low number for a website that has been online for 3 months. I would aim for some 2,000 page views after 3 months.

Mother of all source code! I’ve been blogging for over a year, and have only about 2000 page views per month. And I’m supposed to have surpassed that after 3 months? Oh man, I so totally suck at this…

Yeah, it’s been a long lonely journey sometimes… Which is why this came in at the right time

Yes, I feel like giving up sometimes. But I know I won’t. And I hope you’ll stick it out too.

You thought I’d stop the math lessons, did you? *smile*

Where was I? Oh right, analysing data. I’ve had someone come through from Dream In Code, highly probably a student. He emailed and asked me a studently programming question and I gave him an answer and pointers. How do I know he’s a student? Because another person asked the same question in the forums. Probably not from the same professional programming team, so rival classmates?

The only thing I wanted to handle better was that I should not have given the answer in the forums too. He came all the way here to ask me something. I should’ve treated him better. So whoever you are, mysterious student, I’m sorry and I should have respected you more.

Speaking of students, my intuitive senses tell me that you are probably in your twenties, probably a student still in school. Yes, I’m guessing, but based on data from the few comments and emails I received (tonality, grammar, and gut feeling). Hah, that’s something Google Analytics don’t have!

Even if you do comment, you don’t put your web site down. You’ve also given me false emails. This is fine, it’s just an observation, and I’m just happy I got a human response. Do you know how deliriously happy I get when I see 3 emails in my blog inbox and I think “Ooh, someone commented/emailed/asked something!” and I expect to find 1 email from a human (because, you know, the other 2 are spam)? I dance around waving my hands in the air for about 10 seconds. I’m not kidding.

There’s this other observation. The no-web-site part. This tells me you are either really cautious, or you really don’t have a blog or web site. Which means I get less links, even if you like my posts (you do like my posts, right?), since you’ve got nowhere to link them from. Well, you could always share a post you like on a bookmarking site or email your friends. Yes I still respect you even if Google or some other web arachnid thinks my blog isn’t worth much.

Combating this undesirable serenity, in my free slots in the space-time continuum of weekends, I practised hard. I pored over ancient texts, meditated on the future of programming, and bent my body into all manner of uncomfortable positions. And I’ve finally achieved it.

Other than my current super power, I am now also psychic! I understand that clicking through from a feed reader to comment on something, or even using my contact form may be too much trouble for you. So I’ve come up with a solution. If it’s too much hassle to submit something to me, then think it to me.

Complementing the 24 by 7 nature of the web, I am now psychically receptive to thought submissions. Because of this new service, I have decided to give up sleeping, which I usually do around 12 midnight to 6 am (1600 – 2200 UTC). I am dedicating this sacred 6 hour period to be attuned to the thought waves travelling around the world to this blog.

No more filling out names, email addresses, web sites, your question/comment, credit card numbers, phone numbers, home addresses! Everything will be autopsychically filled for you! I may look like I’m just lying in bed, but I’m really maximising my psychic receptivity. No, that’s not me snoring.

You can still psychically submit stuff to me in the other 18 hours. I’m just totally devoted to receiving psychic messages from you in the designated time slot.

To encourage submission, I’ll tell you a bit more about myself, so you’ll have fodder for questions.

  • Worked at a startup company for exactly 6 weeks
  • Have more than 5 years of professional programming experience
  • Studied for 4 years in university, majored in Applied Mathematics and Computational Science
  • Worked at 3 distinct companies (I repeated working at one of them)
  • Speak 2 languages fluently (English/Chinese or C#/VB.NET. Take your pick)
  • … And a partridge in a pear tree *smile*

Since I’m new at this, I may not always get your message, or even get the correct message. Psychic receptivity isn’t an exact science, you know. Your best bet is still emailing me directly.

Hmm… and you picked the card Ace of Spades, right?